There she is!

We saw Ester today. 

For the last time.  

It was awful saying goodbye to her back in January.  Today was a different sort of awful.  More permanent.  

Every one of my Seeing Eye friends who has done this, says seeing them in harness is indescribable.  There's such a sense of pride in seeing the finished product.  Truthfully, I went into it with mixed emotions, this being our first experience.  

Her instructor brought her out in harness and I did a double take.  Our goofy, sweet girl, was transformed into this beautiful, strong working dog.  Right in full view.  There is no proper way to be prepared for such a sight. EVER.  The only response I could give was to let the tears flow.  When I turned around to see Charlie, I'm fairly certain his eyes had watered too.  My quiet reserved boy had been changed by her.  

We followed her through town, jumping in and out of puddles on this rainy spring day.  She never wavered, and the water didn't bother her.  Afterwards, the instructor spoke to us about her and the challenges she faced.  They expect her to be matched up with someone in the next month or two and will keep us apprised of her progress in that regard.

What a blessing to get closure.  In life, things are rarely wrapped up neatly.  This is one exception.  We raised her, we loved her, and sent her off to do great things.  Then, we have the privilege of seeing it all come full circle and witness her in harness.  

Along the way, people have often told me "I don't know how you do it, it must be so difficult to give them back."  Yes, yes it is.  But the purpose is greater than the pain.  It disappoints me greatly that so many would opt out of doing something great, all because it's "too difficult".  Nothing great was ever achieved taking the easy route.

I'd rather do the hard right thing, than the easy wrong thing.  

To Ester.

To loving others.

To doing the hard right thing.

He did it!

Every mother has a list of wishes for their child, from the minute they meet them face to face.  In some long lost journal up on a shelf in Charlie's room, I wrote mine for him.  Maybe I should glance at it before completing this post?  Nah…

Charlie has always been the inquisitive type.  Books and puzzles were attractive to him from an early age.  Being a former teacher,  I would not say no to buying a book for my children.   When your kids grow up knowing books and learning are fun, it's amazing what they will do with it.

When we moved to Canada, he was three and a half.  I distinctly remember him staring at the maps we used to drive across the country.  They amazed him.  And why wouldn't they?  They were colorful, interesting and straight forward- and easy to understand at any age.

Much of his free time was spent in front of the large North American map that hung on the office wall. He'd either study it or bring blank paper and copy it free hand.  Thus began his in depth love of all things geographical.

Fast forward eight years or so.  He's a self taught kid who reads every non-fiction book he can get his hands on.  Some kids play sports.  My kid reads.  Some kids read best selling fiction.  My kid reads books about learning Russian and Science books.  Some kids have no interest in learning new things.  My kid can't get enough of new information.  It's the way God made him.

Friday was his third time competing in the State Geography Bee.  After two years of experience, his maturity and comfort level kicked in, unlike previous years.  He'll tell you that he studied more than in other years, and more methodically.  Obviously, it paid off.

He won the entire competition without missing a single question all day.  Out of all the wishes I ever had for him as a infant, I'm fairly certain none of them involved winning a big competition.  Plenty of life skills had to be practiced that day; patience, good sportsmanship, being cool under pressure, wisdom, being gracious to journalists, and relishing the moment.  His composure through it all astounded me.  Sometimes I wonder if we've done right by him when it comes to certain things (don't ALL parents have this worry?), and other times I know that he's got no excuse to not do it properly.

More important than the win, was the chance to see him shine.  There are certain personality traits our children carry, that in the wrong light can be construed as negative.  Yet, when circumstances arise that are out of our control, sometimes those "negative" traits become positive.  Such was the case on Friday.  It's a wonderful thing to watch your child bloom right in front of you.  Seeing them in a new light, being humbled by the gifts God gave him/her, brings me to my knees in utter awe.  Part of it is knowing I could NEVER do what he did.  The other part is realizing that he is a unique individual, given a set of gifts and talents that God is showcasing in ways I never could have predicted.

Yes, Charlie won.  But God gets all the credit.

Amen.